Summer in Texas – MEZATRON

Ian and I met Bob around the same time while training at the jiu jitsu gym. With whom we immediately became embroiled in a three way rivalry. For years, I chased Bob on the mats vowing to one day D’arce him into submission.

When he told us that Toyota was moving their North American headquarters to Plano, Texas we knew we had limited time to train together in CA. On a whim, I got Ian onboard to purchase tickets to check out how he was settling down in the Lone Star State. Work is good, he’s a homeowner, he’s got a good woman by his side, and now he’s got two dogs instead of just one…and he still whips around in those fresh Lexus/Toyota’s on the company dime.

Bob picked us up in a red Camry at DFW International. After a hugs and a short drive we pulled up to a brick house in a suburb city known simply as “The Colony”. We met his girlfriend Michelle and headed off to the pub for some drinks.

Side note: The humidity in Texas is no joke. Couple that with the scorch of the sun and you’re in for swamp ass and sunburns 24/7 if you’re not careful.

Texas Liquor Store — This obviously out of focus image sums up our evenings in Texas but if you squint just the right way, you can appreciate the beauty of those humid nights.

One blurry night later.

With bleary eyes, we woke up to bacon and eggs sizzling in the kitchen. And another huge dog running around the house. Put plainly, Michelle is a serious dog person. Aside from Atticus and Ruby, they dog sit for clients and soon Maso, a huge Mastiff/Cane Corso is in the mix.

Maso the Mastiff Cane Corso — MA-stiff cane cor-SO. MA-SO. get it?

Atticus the Pitbull — Atticus is probably the most chill pitbull on this planet. As a kid, I was told that pitbulls are to be avoided and that they are super aggressive/dangerous. On most nights, Atticus would climb up the couch and lay down right next to you while staring into your eyes. I found myself face to face with this guy on more than a few occasions. I kept joking that his dialogue would be something like, “You know I could kill you in an instant right?…but I won’t…cause I’m chiller than you……..still could though.”

Soon enough, we are off to a local mall to try our hand at flowboarding which is some weird version of finless surfing that you can do at a mall. It sure wasn’t surfing but the difficulty level was a solid 7/10. Each one of us took some nasty spills complete with whiplashing into the ground while the wave spits you out into the drain on top.

Ian and Bob Looking at the Flowboarding Wave — Ian and Bob checking out the flowboard wave while still dizzy from the last night.

Ian Flowboarding — Check out Ian’s face during his first attempt. In his defense, the board was squirelly as hell. I went down within 5 seconds on my first two attempts.

Bob Flowboarding — Bob shredding the gnar!

Michelle Flowboarding — Michelle was down for everything. This photo was taken on her first attempt. As soon as the board left the docked position, Michelle went face first into the water and washed away. Check out Bob’s reaction.

Woman watching us flowboard — The room was steamy as hell and is encased within a surf shop in Texas. Yes, you read that right. A surf shop in Texas. Anyways, I enjoy creeping on creepers, so here’s a photo of her catching me taking her picture.

Kids Flowboarding — At the end of the session, a bunch of little kids came in. This boy told me that it was his birthday and that he was super good at this. When we left, we watched him lay down on a bodyboard and literally simulate flying like superman over and over with an ear-to-ear grin on his face.

A taste of Texas BBQ

In case you didn’t know, BBQ is big deal in Texas. We headed to a spot called Hutchins BBQ where there was meat aplenty. I ordered a 1/2 pound of ribs, a bacon wrapped cream cheese stuffed jalapeño, mac and cheese and brisket bbq beans. You know you’re at a heart attack factory when there is free desert; And it wasn’t just soft serve, it was full on peach cobbler and banana pudding. I literally had to bump through and hold my ground with 10 overweight customers to get a serving of peach cobbler when it came out.

We Need Meat — Hutchins BBQ lets people write on the walls. This one stood out…wonder why?

Overweight Man at Hutchins BBQ — When you eat good like Texas BBQ, that shit will catch up with you. This guy was struggling to get out of his car as we rolled up to the spot. After about 5 minutes of standing in line, he made his way to the front to sit down while waiting in line. While I was showing my camera to Bob, I snapped a few photos of this guy. I think to ISO was set to 25600. Pretty crazy huh?

Hutchins BBQ Line — These guys who were serving the line were super funny. If you look closely to the right, you can see a few of the bacon wrapped cream cheese stuffed jalapeños that I got. I wouldn’t doubt that a single pepper was something like 500 calories. At $3 a pop, it was worth it.

Fun Fact: I am now a card carrying member of a gun club in Garland.

Bob brought out his guns for us to shoot. Among them a Glock 9mm, a 30-06 hunting rifle and a 12 gauge shotgun. Between blasting bullets at targets including clay pigeons, we watched on as local Texans fired off round after round of deafening gunshots. There was one Asian dude there flying solo who had half of an armory out while he sat around in a sweaty Under Armor shirt. Another older woman told us between puffs of a cigarette that she’s going to convince her husband to get her a new scope for their anniversary. All in all, these people, however crazy about about guns were friendly and I felt safe. I was pretty stoked that we all actually hit the clay pigeons within a few attempts. I got 3 of 4 on my last attempt!

Until next time Bob and Michelle!